Who’s in and who’s out?
Choosing a bridal party can be an extremely sensitive and sometimes political process. Use these tips to help you pick the right crew:
1. Don’t ask everyone right away!
This should be a well-thought-out decision. We know it’s hard not to immediately dub your girlfriends part of your bridal posse, but you should give it some time. You’ll need to think on it and talk to your fiance about your choices before asking.
2. The size of your bridal party should reflect the size and scope of your wedding.
The average wedding has four bridesmaids and four groomsmen. We LOVE this number. It looks great in pictures and it shows you are really honoring the closest people in your life. Remember that the more the number goes up, the amount of coordinating and balancing different personality types goes up exponentially. We highly recommend being as selective as possible.
3. It doesn’t have to be symmetric, but it needs to be sensible.
You should both make an initial list of who you think you want in your bridal party, then compare. Does it make sense? Are you thrilled about his choices and is he thrilled about yours? You want to make sure everyone in your bridal party is someone with which you feel a personal connection and knows you well as couple.
4. Choose the closest people to you.
The bridal party you select shouldn’t be the friends you always go to cocktails with or take the best selfies with. This is not a popularity contest- it’s an honor you should give those that have stood with you throughout your life. You want to be able to look back in twenty years and still be close with all of these people. It’s easy to presume that all your favorite babes will always be your BFFs, but try to select a bridal party that has consistently proven their staying power.
5. Be mindful of family, but don’t go overboard.
It makes sense to put your sister in your bridal party, but you don’t need to put every one of your female cousins. Make sure you are including family members that have the closest relationship with you.
If your fiance has siblings, it is definitely a good idea to invite them into your bridal party, but don’t feel that this is a definite. Keep in mind that marriage is for life. Although you may not be close to his sister now, you likely will forge a relationship in the future.
6. Make responsible choices.
Your fair weather friends are not the ones to chose for your bridal party. Make sure everyone has their act together enough to handle the responsibilities of being in a wedding party without stressing you out. (This is very important!)
7. Don’t ask someone just because they asked you.
I know it seems mean, but it is normal to go through different stages in their life and grow closer or apart from your favorite people. Remember, even though you’d like to- you can’t include everyone.
8. Don’t have people stand beside you at your wedding if they don’t stand behind you as a couple.
This is a big one. Everyone in your bridal party should know and love you both well as a couple and be able to represent that. These are the people “standing up for you” at your wedding. This means, they are publicly declaring their support for you living your lives together. This is the true reason for having a bridal party. Choose the ones that will support you in your marriage, and forever.